And from out of these cuts comes the empty drowse of fatigue. How much is left within me? I cut and I cut and I cut and do these demons fly out? Do you not see them? Because I haven't found them yet. Each lover, each opportunity is tainted with the dye of pepper and condiments, added bonuses to a deal I've been saving every last penny toward. Yet these sweeteners tend to poison the whole gamut.
If you've caught sight or wind of anything pouring out of me, let me know. This red light taints my ability to judge the drainage, and the weariness of the body has been steady since before you saw me take this razor to my skin.
There will be a time when I give up . . . I might pass out first, however . . .
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Take 2
Will this finally pan out? Will this be the lineup? Will this be the final "first" direction we take?
I don't want to jinx anything anymore. I'll shut up until dates are announced.
I don't want to jinx anything anymore. I'll shut up until dates are announced.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Transplant
When you've hit the bottom, you become numb to everything that comes your way, good or bad. I could have been stricken with cancer last week and I probably would have just said, with glazed eyes, "Okay."
Things have played themselves out. I wouldn't say "worked" themselves out, per se. I'm contemplating still.
Schematics is done in the audio department. It sounds amazing! I picked up the finished copy at the opening for Room Zero, Schuyler's new performance/creation space in Northeast, right down the street from Karmath Studio, actually. At the opening, four bands, including Schuyler's own, played live noise sets. The gears started turning in my own head.
Schuyler had asked me a couple of months ago to play at Room Zero at one of the monthly gigs that he's planning on having each month from here on out. The space is perfect. It will hold the right amount of people, it will generate the right kind of feeling that I would want Patch to generate in people's heads. The whole night I came up with new ideas for the first live representation of Patch. The initial idea has been stripped away from me time and time again. It will be void of Schematics, it will be all "Veins".
May . . .
Things have played themselves out. I wouldn't say "worked" themselves out, per se. I'm contemplating still.
Schematics is done in the audio department. It sounds amazing! I picked up the finished copy at the opening for Room Zero, Schuyler's new performance/creation space in Northeast, right down the street from Karmath Studio, actually. At the opening, four bands, including Schuyler's own, played live noise sets. The gears started turning in my own head.
Schuyler had asked me a couple of months ago to play at Room Zero at one of the monthly gigs that he's planning on having each month from here on out. The space is perfect. It will hold the right amount of people, it will generate the right kind of feeling that I would want Patch to generate in people's heads. The whole night I came up with new ideas for the first live representation of Patch. The initial idea has been stripped away from me time and time again. It will be void of Schematics, it will be all "Veins".
May . . .
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
The Patch Live/Sisyphus Analogy
OCTOBER 2009: Mixing is nearing completion on Patch 1: Schematics. During one of the mixing sessions with Schuyler, my co-producer, Schuyler's friend Scotty comes in to say hi. He mentions that he is a freelance drummer, currently rehearsing for an audition for a band looking for a stand-in if the regular drummer is unavailable. He gives me his card, it's best to get as many people as possible for auditions for Patch Live, which would be coming up soon.
I'm also in talks with good friends (Dustin, Adri, Greg) to possibly be in the band. I have a space in the back of my house that I've been using for live music two years and counting. Things are looking up. I have everything I could want. My birthday occurred, I realized all of the friends I had, now it's time to step forward into the ether. Halloween is the last good day of the year . . .
NOVEMBER 2009: I have a professional meeting with Scotty. We discuss the fact that he's a paid musician, he isn't tied to a band at all, he's a freelancer. Being a stickler for people who commit to projects, and seeing as though I'm not really paying rent on top of the house for the practice space, I figure "Why not? It's only a little bit of money."
I try out another drummer. I opt for Scotty, thinking that the money would make him commit to the material needed to be learned. I get the band together twice to mix together, see how people rehearse on their own. We have good rehearsals, progress is made.
While on a trip to the West Coast, the current guitarist, Dustin, opts out because of beliefs against paying one person and nobody else. I draw up a manifesto while on a much needed vacation to persuade him to stay, where I basically cancel outings with my family to come up with a solution. Alas, he doesn't bite. The rest of the band finds this as a valid belief system, I seek another guitarist.
DECEMBER 2009: I come up with another guitarist to complete the five piece dream. He is Matt Anderson, of The Engagement fame. We have one rehearsal with him. Progress hasn't been made since the last rehearsal. Matt's a great guitar player, however, and I attempt to reign him in some more. He cancels out on each rehearsal thereafter, finally telling me that he can't commit to his job and two bands at the same time. I understand.
As Scotty practices in the back room one night, I get a knock on the front door. It's my neighbor, complaining about the noise. Back in November, I ventured over to tell her that I would be starting up another band in the back. As I did this, her dog escaped from her clutches and bit me on the ass, tearing my pants to shreds. We had come to an agreement to stop noise at 9:00pm. It is 8:00pm on this new visit. She threatens to call the cops on me if I ever have another rehearsal again. If I can make the noise "half-volume" then it would be okay. I tell her that's impossible, there's only one person currently in the back, that's 1/5th volume right there. She says I have to go find a new place to practice.
Scotty leaves for Maine a couple days later for Winter Break. In this time I seek to find both a new space and a new lead guitarist.
JANUARY 2010: I find a new space at Citysound. My friend Eric points me in the direction of this space through his old band, Solid Gold, and a collaborator named Lucas. Upon hearing about us wanting to move in, Solid Gold opts to move out, making the rent higher. We now pay $200 as a band, along with all but one paying Scotty. I also make an executive decision to go as a four piece from here on out. I'm not having any luck finding another guitarist.
Scotty returns at the end of the month, and we have one rehearsal as a four piece. It's productive, but not the best. A week later, the bills need to be paid to Citysound, Lucas, and Scotty. Adri opts out at this point, stating that he cannot pay for everything now, and that he can't commit to two bands and looking for a job, having been recently laid off from his day job. Rehearsals have to go on hold.
I find responses to my Bassist Needed ads on the web, but they all ask why we're paying the drummer and nobody else. Eric has texted me in the meantime, asking if I still needed a bass player. I trust him and his abilities, I say sure.
FEBRUARY 2010: Eric becomes the next bass player. Two rehearsals are had, but again they're not as productive as I'd like. I start opting to take out everything we've learned so far, thinking that our current setup is not conducive to the material just yet. In time it will be. I draw up new plans, and we start working on them. The sound is good, the material solid. I'm finally happy with the setup and the direction we are going.
MARCH 2010: Just before the first rehearsal of the month, Eric opts out due to the hefty fees, the job obligations, and not being able to commit to more than one band at a time. A recurring theme. The fees for Scotty and rent go up so much so that I become resilient to keep paying Scotty at all.
Currently, I'm at a crossroads. My live band is falling apart. My drummer is on the fritz due to money constraints, I've lost my fourth player. I've thought to become a three piece, but the money is a major factor now if Patch is to be a three-piece. Everything I had back in October/November has fallen apart. I am paying an arm and a leg due to mainly two factors: being outed from my home's rehearsal space and having a committed drummer who wishes to be paid at every rehearsal.
I'm a man come apart.
Yet, I did receive the final master of Schematics today. But I quite possibly have no live band to show for it.
"Follow your dreams" is a bullshit statement at the moment.
I'm also in talks with good friends (Dustin, Adri, Greg) to possibly be in the band. I have a space in the back of my house that I've been using for live music two years and counting. Things are looking up. I have everything I could want. My birthday occurred, I realized all of the friends I had, now it's time to step forward into the ether. Halloween is the last good day of the year . . .
NOVEMBER 2009: I have a professional meeting with Scotty. We discuss the fact that he's a paid musician, he isn't tied to a band at all, he's a freelancer. Being a stickler for people who commit to projects, and seeing as though I'm not really paying rent on top of the house for the practice space, I figure "Why not? It's only a little bit of money."
I try out another drummer. I opt for Scotty, thinking that the money would make him commit to the material needed to be learned. I get the band together twice to mix together, see how people rehearse on their own. We have good rehearsals, progress is made.
While on a trip to the West Coast, the current guitarist, Dustin, opts out because of beliefs against paying one person and nobody else. I draw up a manifesto while on a much needed vacation to persuade him to stay, where I basically cancel outings with my family to come up with a solution. Alas, he doesn't bite. The rest of the band finds this as a valid belief system, I seek another guitarist.
DECEMBER 2009: I come up with another guitarist to complete the five piece dream. He is Matt Anderson, of The Engagement fame. We have one rehearsal with him. Progress hasn't been made since the last rehearsal. Matt's a great guitar player, however, and I attempt to reign him in some more. He cancels out on each rehearsal thereafter, finally telling me that he can't commit to his job and two bands at the same time. I understand.
As Scotty practices in the back room one night, I get a knock on the front door. It's my neighbor, complaining about the noise. Back in November, I ventured over to tell her that I would be starting up another band in the back. As I did this, her dog escaped from her clutches and bit me on the ass, tearing my pants to shreds. We had come to an agreement to stop noise at 9:00pm. It is 8:00pm on this new visit. She threatens to call the cops on me if I ever have another rehearsal again. If I can make the noise "half-volume" then it would be okay. I tell her that's impossible, there's only one person currently in the back, that's 1/5th volume right there. She says I have to go find a new place to practice.
Scotty leaves for Maine a couple days later for Winter Break. In this time I seek to find both a new space and a new lead guitarist.
JANUARY 2010: I find a new space at Citysound. My friend Eric points me in the direction of this space through his old band, Solid Gold, and a collaborator named Lucas. Upon hearing about us wanting to move in, Solid Gold opts to move out, making the rent higher. We now pay $200 as a band, along with all but one paying Scotty. I also make an executive decision to go as a four piece from here on out. I'm not having any luck finding another guitarist.
Scotty returns at the end of the month, and we have one rehearsal as a four piece. It's productive, but not the best. A week later, the bills need to be paid to Citysound, Lucas, and Scotty. Adri opts out at this point, stating that he cannot pay for everything now, and that he can't commit to two bands and looking for a job, having been recently laid off from his day job. Rehearsals have to go on hold.
I find responses to my Bassist Needed ads on the web, but they all ask why we're paying the drummer and nobody else. Eric has texted me in the meantime, asking if I still needed a bass player. I trust him and his abilities, I say sure.
FEBRUARY 2010: Eric becomes the next bass player. Two rehearsals are had, but again they're not as productive as I'd like. I start opting to take out everything we've learned so far, thinking that our current setup is not conducive to the material just yet. In time it will be. I draw up new plans, and we start working on them. The sound is good, the material solid. I'm finally happy with the setup and the direction we are going.
MARCH 2010: Just before the first rehearsal of the month, Eric opts out due to the hefty fees, the job obligations, and not being able to commit to more than one band at a time. A recurring theme. The fees for Scotty and rent go up so much so that I become resilient to keep paying Scotty at all.
Currently, I'm at a crossroads. My live band is falling apart. My drummer is on the fritz due to money constraints, I've lost my fourth player. I've thought to become a three piece, but the money is a major factor now if Patch is to be a three-piece. Everything I had back in October/November has fallen apart. I am paying an arm and a leg due to mainly two factors: being outed from my home's rehearsal space and having a committed drummer who wishes to be paid at every rehearsal.
I'm a man come apart.
Yet, I did receive the final master of Schematics today. But I quite possibly have no live band to show for it.
"Follow your dreams" is a bullshit statement at the moment.
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