One Sided Transactions

Rest does not happen in my bedroom. It happens on the living room couch or at Borders.

The splendid thing about Borders is that inspiration tends to be a byproduct of a visit there. Books are read, the mind wanders, coffee is consumed, ideas sprout. I just came up with album art for Omiss (and my first tattoo design, if it sticks), for one. Now, at home, listening to music on Lala.com, I hope to finish the initial rough draft for Omiss. Two songs left.

Omiss, again, deals with the connection one has with those they become smitten with. Is the connection returned or realized by the other? Does it matter? When should it matter?

I read a book entitled "How to Live" by Henry Alford this afternoon. It wasn't a self-help book, a cheesy cash-in for the coffee/tea drinking proverb seeking intellectual. It was a heartfelt insight into seeking answers to a big question: what is wisdom? And do the elderly hold the answer for the rest of us still attempting to start in our wisdom garnering?

Looking up from my reading, I saw a woman that I recognized at a table across from mine. She is a bank teller at the bank I frequent, a manager, if I'm not mistaken. One day she deposited a check for me, and I was a little smitten with her (having just watched "Catch Me If You Can" last night whilst nursing a cold, I find this funny). She was beautiful, still is. She has an interesting walk, seemingly wrought from walking back and forth in the bank and screwing up her calves from the massive high heels she wears with her form fitting slacks. I couldn't tell if it was her or not at first at Borders, but when she got up to get coffee, that walk was the answer I needed.

I wasn't about to go over to talk to her, seeing as though I have no basis of conversation with her, other than "Hey, you work at the bank! You put my check into my account, once! You . . . also . . . walk cool?"

I took this opportunity to inflict some of the basis and feeling behind Omiss to what I was reading, sending my brain into a fury of theory and creativity. A connection was there, but she didn't know it. Maybe there's one on her end, but it's not noticed by me either. I'll assume she thought I looked familiar, but couldn't care less about me.

But to know that you can have an effect on people, people who wouldn't embark on developing a relationship with you, but keeping you in their thoughts anyway. It's a tier below (or maybe above) celebrity fixation. Living and knowing a person without them knowing you.

Omission.

But omitting on your own accord . . . embarking on a relationship might make you want to forget that person in the end. From having a bad relationship, a boring one, a great one but where you hardly think about the person unless you're with them, they're conveniently around, etc. Omiss-ing on your own accord: could it be the best relationship you never knew you could have? If you were okay not being involved with them, then how many of these relationships might you have coexisting at the same time? And which of them do you walk out of that limbo for, killing possibility and finding either rejection or reciprocation?

I guess I'm asking if this is the best relationship, a quasi-Plato style way of thinking about love, or if it's just an important style of relationship that we tend to not think too much about.

Food for thought this Sunday . . . inspiration chasing . . .